VONI READERS! I Didn't Realise How Much I Loved Him Till We Broke Up [ ADVICE ]

 Hello VONImag, My name is Glory and I'm in my early twenties (Of course, it is not my real name). There is this friend of mine that I have been in a relationship with. He is the best guy I've ever met. Through being friends, we became more than friends. He didn't exactly ask me out, but our friendship culminated into a relationship.


Then, my parents found out about him. They were like I don't want to be useful to them and wipe away their tears. They said he was too young and not yet a man. That he would use me and dump me. They disapproved of him for me but I didn't care. I stood my ground. Afterall, we weren't doing anything wrong and our relationship was platonic. He wouldn't dare go that way and moreover, marriage was the last thing on my mind. But things got crazy so I asked him to stay away for sometime.
Three months passed and we didn't communicate nor see each other because my parents were monitoring my footsteps, calls, texts and everything. My movement was restricted. I was even beaten up. It was a horrible time for me. Recently a lot happened. My family was in a deep mess and so was I.First, my parents are not together anymore and I don't know if they'll get back together. Then, there's the financial problems. My both parents are owing people heavily and can even be sued right now. To top it all, I don't have a job today. I resigned from my last job cos my boss was making advances at me, had similar problems with other places I worked. At least if I had a job, I would be able too help but I don't. I don't even know where my tuition fee will come from if I eventually get admission this year. So, I was confused and I thought ending my relationship with him will actually help me clear my mind afterall what we had wasn't really a relationship since we couldn't see or talk to each other. So, the next time we chatted, I ended my relationship with him.
Immediately I made that decision I regretted it. Ever since that night I've not been able to sleep. I keep thinking about him... I just can't get him of my mind. I've not been able to face my so called problems. I guess, I really didn't realise how much I loved him till I broke up with him.
I've been trying to reach him all to no avail. He is avoiding me. I know I hurt him but what he doesn't know is that I'm hurting too. The thing is I don't even know how to face him if he eventually agrees to meet me. I really need your help. I don't know what to do.